The Ballad of Spike & Buffy: She Haunts Me
by VampedVixen
Summary: A little history through Spike's eyes. Poem for the episode "Out of My Mind"


**The Ballad of Spike and Buffy**  
She Haunts Me  
By Janet Jongebloed  
  
Disclaimer: Joss is God, 'Nuff said!  
Comments: Please, oh please, oh please! I've never tried anything like this before and I want to know how it is working.  
  
She's in my head  
That voice I hate to hear  
The sultry tone that   
Slides right down my ear  
  
Everywhere I go  
I see her standing there  
That slayer is haunting me  
With her lovely blond hair  
  
She walks around so brave  
Holding a stake so delicate  
I hate that bitch!  
But... I would love to have a go at it  
  
No, No! That's Wrong!  
I want her dead!  
I would just give anything  
To have her out of my head  
  
At first it was so simple   
Mortal enemies at war  
Me & Dru came to Sunny hell   
To see what was in store  
  
But then things changed  
Eternal love left me for her sire  
And Angel tried to send this world  
To Hell's great evil fire  
  
So I joined forces   
With the one I despise  
We saved the world...  
As I left I heard her cries  
  
Romance had fallen apart  
Her lover gone to Hell  
How much we had in common  
Only God could tell  
  
Drusilla thought I loved her  
Maybe it was true  
So I came back to Sunnydale   
To see what I could do  
  
To prove to Dru I hadn't gone soft  
And get my lover back  
Tried to do a love spell   
But met into a little sidetrack  
  
I kidnapped that little witch  
To do me a spell  
After that Buffy wanted me   
To take a nice trip to Hell  
  
But her plan was shot  
When I refused to say  
Where her friends were  
Until I got my way  
  
I made her work with me  
The slayer at my side  
Neither was quite happy  
Well... okay I lied  
  
We fought a bit  
And kicked some vamps to dust  
Blood was blood, but I'm sure  
Towards her I felt a little lust  
  
But me and her, after all was done  
Went on our separate ways  
I had found myself  
Out of that self-pity daze  
  
I was strong again  
Maybe because of her  
Left that town after   
I had created quite a stir  
  
Went on back to Dru  
But didn't want her anymore  
My love was not a vampire  
But the Slayer of ancient lore  
  
But I denied, and refused  
To see the plain old truth  
So I found who I could to  
Replace the beauty so full of youth  
  
Harmony; she almost made it seem  
I was not alone where I stood  
She looked so much like Buffy...  
But she was as stupid as driftwood  
  
We came for the Amarra Gem  
But, Harmony, I loved her not  
What was I thinking dating her?   
It's a time I'd rather have forgot  
  
The ring was found and I  
Had some fun in the sunlight  
Was having a spot of fun   
Until Buffy and I began to fight  
  
In turn, the Amarra ring was lost  
To Angel and his merry band  
Before I lost it all,   
I had held the power in my hand  
  
I had held the power  
To rid me of that slayer girl   
And get her out of my head  
To kill her once and for all  
  
The government captured me,  
After many battles where I had won,   
They put a chip in my head  
That ruined all of my fun  
  
No longer could I brawl  
No longer could I kill  
But of death I did not   
Already have my fill  
  
Just wanted more victims  
Some more delicious blood  
How did my life  
Turn into such crud  
  
I turned to her   
In that dark time  
She helped me, saved me  
While I was not in my prime  
  
So I roomed with her friends  
Giles, and then that clown Xander   
But I missed that days when I was   
Top dog, head vamp, the commander   
  
Things turned interesting though  
When little Willow Witch   
Did a spell on Buffy and me and   
My emotions did a switch  
  
My feelings towards that   
Girl who haunts me still   
Reacted, we kissed, so dear   
A wish we did that day fulfil  
  
We tried to forget that one moment  
How precious and so rare  
She said she hated my kisses  
So I moved and got a new lair  
  
My life was such crap,   
Until I learned I could fight  
To get my fill of violence, and kill   
Demons that walk in the night  
  
Now I knew how Buffy felt  
Saving the world wasn't that bad  
But in a twisted way  
I felt really sad  
  
I had turned my back on my kind  
Fighting them just to get my kicks  
They noticed too, tried to kill me  
But I didn't fall for their tricks  
  
Things couldn't stay that way  
My sanity never have never lasted  
I couldn't love her or join her side  
Our ways were just too contrasted  
  
So I teamed with Adam  
To be bad once more  
He would help me   
And then even the score  
  
Adam couldn't be trusted though  
He didn't come through  
Even after I helped him  
And made Buffy so blue  
  
It hurt to see her   
In so much pain I had caused  
So in the big Initiative battle  
I took a moment and paused  
  
Sure, we had our differences  
More than once we disagreed  
Still we were the allies   
In this battles we would need  
  
She could have killed me then  
But she refused and let me go   
Why she did what she did   
I may never know  
  
So now every thing is different  
We let each other live in peace   
Sometimes we assist each other  
But our fighting may never cease  
  
I almost lost her to Dracula  
If he had hurt her in any way  
I swear to God  
I would have made him pay  
  
Her boyfriend is such a poof  
I know I could have shown  
How cowardly he was, if just   
One punch I could have thrown  
  
And now Harmony is back  
And she's knocking on my door  
I just have to ask, why me,  
I can't take this anymore!  
  
She's got minions   
And she thinks the slayer's here  
Like all Buffy can do is kill or  
Run from Harmony in fear   
  
But things can be manipulated  
I learned that from the past  
With Harmony as my lackey  
I thought maybe this chip won't last  
  
But that was hours ago  
And the doc he did me wrong  
It was impossible to remove and so  
This is my swan song  
  
I can't bite no more, it's useless  
I'm waiting for that which I can't hide  
Buffy will come in and complete  
This, my finale suicide  
  
I'm tired of seeing her in my mind  
She wants me to join her  
To help her like times before  
But I can not defer  
  
I've been waiting for   
Six hours straight   
I wonder if she'll come  
What is making her so late  
  
When she comes in I'll say  
"Just do it, just stake me"  
Don't know why she just  
Won't let me be  
  
I hear her footsteps   
This is the end I've waited for  
So hurry up Buffy  
And come even the score  
  
  



End file.
